Good morning! So I mentioned that there’s a lot that’s been going on in my life lately. Last week, I celebrated my 30th birthday. Perhaps it’s because 30 is such a milestone birthday, but this year I have really being reflecting on my life, my age, the accomplishments I’ve made and the goals I have yet to achieve.
If you would have asked me at 20 what I planned to accomplish in the next 10 years, I think I would have expected to be married, have a child (or two), and be making waves in the corporate world with a fantastic high powered career. I would have had it all together, the perfect life and been a size 2. HA! Have I mentioned I set lofty goals for myself?
In reality, I have mixed feelings about where I am in my life right now. I’ve moved to a new state less than a year ago, where the only people I knew were my husband and his family. It was very isolating at first, especially because I was working a lot of hours in job I didn’t love. Things have changed, but I still want to have great friends here, so I leave my 20s feeling a little isolated in my relationships.
Of course, I can’t escape the baby pressure. What is it about 30 that makes everyone and their mother tell you about how if you want to have kiddos you need to have done so yesterday?!? Has that happened to anyone else? I seriously have people at work, at the gym, basically everywhere telling me how hard it is on your body to have kids at 30, how they can basically see my fertility dwindling, like it’s written on my face. Just a piece of advice for everyone, girls in their 30s know their biological clocks are ticking. We put enough pressure on ourselves, and don’t need you to put pressure on us too.
Honestly, I cannot imagine having a child right now. I know if I would have had children in my 20s, I would not be a happy person. I was not ready emotionally and mentally to give as much of myself as would be necessary for me to be a good mother. So, I don’t regret not having a child yet. However, I also am very fearful of not being able to have a child when I’m ready. It’s a delicate balance and turning 30 has made me more aware of that fact than ever.
But, there have been some things that make me feel like the last ten years haven’t been too bad. I have some wonderful memories of my 20s. I will forever remember my single days fondly, full of late nights and figuring out what I want and who I am. I graduated college, had a great few jobs and got my masters degree. Where do I want to be by the time I’m 40? I’m not really sure. I still see myself working and growing intellectually every day. In the next 10 years, I hope to learn balance. Balance in healthy eating, exercise, work and leisure, and family and friends.